A #Found journey for an adoptee can be very difficult. Along the way you may find information that is painful. Maybe even very human imperfections in the people you find that are related to you.
I recently met a young woman that was searching for her biological family named Sarah.
We found her mother deceased. A few weeks later(much to my surprise)...information came back on a brother that wanted contact.
That too became a disappointment because of his and another sisters life choices.
This young woman was an adoption that occurred in the first year after the Adoption and Safe Families Act was signed so I was particularly interested in her story.
My heart hurts for her. Simply because much of what happened to her was so unnecessary. She grew up wondering and searching.....and when she finally got answers it was too late and then disappointment.
The idea that adoptees get such a raw deal after a lifetime of questions puts them thru another entire plethora of feelings on top of a lifetime of feeling rejected, unwanted and not fitting in.
Of all the #Found journeys I have helped facilitate....this is my first in which an adoptee said, “Enough, I don’t want to know anymore”.
Moving forward I hope that Sarah is able to find her way.....hopefully with the knowledge that irregardless of what she found.....she has value and worth.
Less than desirable outcomes do occur. I see it with older adoptees. Deaths and the programming of birth mothers that occurred in the early part of the 20th century.
All so unnecessary and yet status quo for adoptees. Such a sad statement on a society that perpetrates such an evil system against its young citizens and in the next breath proclaims wonder that thing are going down the toilet.
The things that happen to adoptees are appalling. Even more appalling is that adoptions occur for the maximization of federal funding.
While Sarah’s outcome has left me shaken on this beautiful Sunday morning....I know that I will continue #Found journeys for other adoptees. The questions are important even though they too may not get the answers they desire.
It is my sincerest prayer that Sarah finds a way to heal and move forward.